


Long, Long Way From Home

by Lolly_XX



Category: Supernatural
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-22
Updated: 2020-09-24
Packaged: 2021-03-07 15:54:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 2,351
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26590237
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lolly_XX/pseuds/Lolly_XX
Summary: What would have happened if Dean had gone off to Stanford with Sam?
Kudos: 6





	1. It was a Monday

A day like any other day, Dad was out on a bender after a hunt, Sammy and I were sitting at a kitchen table. I couldn't figure out why it felt so tense in that dingy little motel room. But then Sam reached into his pocket and pulled out a folded up envelope. He slid it across the table like a mob boss making some offer. I half expected him to say 'I've made you an offer you can't refuse.' But he didn't. He didn't say anything. So I picked up the envelope and carefully pulled out the trifold paper inside. 

The only words I really noticed were "accepted" in big bold letters, followed by a lot of information I skimmed over and finally I saw "full scholarship." 

"What is this?" 

"What's it look like?" Sam looked like he wanted to smile but wasn't allowed to. 

"Sam... I -- You know he won't -" 

"I know, that's why I haven't said anything. And I'm not going to accept it, I just... I dunno. Kinda nice to think about though." 

I knew then what I had to do. 

"That's it!" I stood suddenly. "Go pack your things. We're leaving." 

"What?" 

"You heard me. Get your things and get your ass in the car. We're leaving." 

"But Dad, and --" 

"I'll leave him a note, he won't be coherent for a few days anyway." 

And then Sam smiled, like I had never seen him smile before. I hadda admit, he didn't have much to smile about in his life. After mom, well, he never had a real family. I did my best to give him the happiest childhood possible, y'know, considering we were never in one place, always staying in some shitty motel and eating crap food. This was the least I could do for him. Sam deserved to be happy and staying in this life, with Dad, it was killing Sam. It was and I hated watching it. 

A fresh start, California, might not be so bad. 

So we packed our minimal belongings into duffle bags, tossed them in the back, and took off for the West coast. 

And that's how a Monday, a day like any other day we left a small town and headed a long, long way from home.


	2. It Was My Destiny

I couldn't believe it when Dean threw our stuff into the impala and took off without so much as a note to Dad. He called us a few days later and was pissed but Dean told me not to worry. In that way he always did. I told Dean he didn't have to stay, he didn't seem comfortable here. I got free housing on campus with my scholarship, but he didn't have a place to stay. 

I was impressed when he told me he got a job and found a tiny studio nearby. Most would say it wasn't much, but the way we grew up, it was Dean's and that meant it was everything. Things were actually going really well, considering. Dean seemed to be enjoying his new job at the garage. I spent long days in the library or in class. Pre-law was no joke. Every night I went to Dean's apartment and drank a few beers. I would do more studying while Dean lounged on his futon, something he bought against my urging that frown men do not own futons. But hey, it was versatile for his space, I suppose. Dean deserved a proper bed and sometimes I think I wanted to work so hard so that I could afford the life he tried to give me, some sort of desire to pay him back. 

I never thought I'd get an opportunity like this. Not in my life. But this felt right. I left my old life behind for my new destiny. Dean, well, he was having some difficulty acclimating. I knew he was having nightmares, still sleeping with a gun or blade under his pillow. He still flinched at weird news stories on the TV like some primal twinge deep inside of him his muscles would react before his brain caught up. 

I told him it was okay, he could leave, he didn't have to stick around for me. But he insisted. I guess this was just another way for him to keep trying to give me a normal life. 

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* 

I was so damn proud of Sammy. He was so focused, keeping his nose in a book 24/7. It was no secret I didn't quite fit in here but I needed to stay for my little brother. Someone needed to keep him safe, look after him. Plus I liked the guys at the garage well enough and my baby was so well taken care of. Hell, I think that's what got me the job. 

But I still had this itch to hunt. It was in my bones it consumed my whole life since I was 4 years old. So I called up a professional. 

"Bobby?" 

"Well, Dean. It's nice to hear from ya, boy." 

"Yeah, it's been a while. Talked to Dad?" 

"Yep. You boys went and pissed him right off this time, didn'tya?"

"Yeah. Seems like it."

"Well, tell me all about it. How's Sam?" 

"Good, Bobby. I've never seen him this happy. Such a nerd. And I'm working at this garage." 

"Yeah, why don't you sound like everything's good then?" 

"I can't get out of the life. I keep trying to distance myself but every newspaper article that sounds slightly off, every whistle I hear in the night --" 

"Yeah, yeah. You never can truly leave once you know what's out there. Why'd ya stop though? Hunt after work, on weekends." 

"I can't bring all that back to Sammy." 

"You don't have to. What Sam don't know won't hurt him. And I'm always here for whatever you need." 

And there it was. My mind was made up. Bobby was right, Sammy didn't need to know everything, plus saving people is what I do. The former family business now carried on by me.


	3. But still I'm alone

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A very short chapter.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I didn't want this chapter to be too long because I hate stopping in the middle of action and I knew where I was going with the next one.

I'd gone on plenty of solo hunts but not this many in one stretch and not while hiding it. Sam couldn't know, he would just worry. So I made up excuses, had a date, going out for beers with the guys from the garage, anything to get him off my back. I felt pretty guilty, Sam thinks I'm finally adjusting. I gotta admit, I'm less jumpy now that I'm hunting again, and you'd be surprised how many demons there are in California, or maybe you wouldn't. And for longer hunts I just told Sam I was going to see Bobby. Course Bobby always covered for me. 

As time goes on, though, I kinda miss hunting with Sammy. And as much as I hate to say it, Dad. Sure, he could be a mean sonuvabitch, but he was family. And California has a lot of people, I mean, I've been making my way through lots of girls, but still, I'm alone. Sam's getting busy with finals and he's coming around less; plus he met a girl who he spends quite a bit of time with. 

I'm happy for him, really. But I still feel like I don't belong here. Hell, maybe I never will. I can't leave now though, Sam thinks I'm starting to settle in and the way he looks at me, well I can't walk away from that. Plus where would I go? Back on the road? Back to Dad? I have something here, permanence, normalcy. I have all my pictures of our family, of Mom, hung up around the small space. It feels like she's still here sometimes, just watching over us. I think she'd be proud of Sammy, he's so smart, so determined. I don't know so much about me, though, I guess I turned out a lot like Dad. 

Although I'm surrounded by all these memories, all these people, Sam and his friends, still, I'm alone.


	4. Waiting, Hours of Waiting

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Was Sam's destiny really to become a lawyer? Or was it to join the demon army all along?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm super uncomfy writing first person but it's something I want to improve and where better to do that than a fic?? 
> 
> Sorry if this is garbage lol ya'll don't have to read it. But I appreciate those of you who do <3

Where the hell am I? I woke up with a pounding head in a metal chair in a dark, dirty room. My eyes were struggling to focus on anything in the low light, not to mention whatever had knocked me out probably was affecting my vision. 

Think. 

Think. 

Where was I last? A party... With Sam and some of his friends. That jerk Brady, who I wasn't very fond of, was there. 

My ankles and wrists burned against the restraints, I must have been struggling before now. I tried to calm myself and take stock of my body, the rope burns, the head pain, nothing else seemed to be too off. I probably had a black eye, or one forming at least, and by the feel of it, a split lip. Did I have a fight at the party or was this from my current situation? Think Dean! I screamed it in my head which made the throbbing worse. 

Then my blood chilled. Sammy. Where was he? Was he here? Did they take him too? 

I tried to stop my brain so I could remember something; I had this nagging feeling, kind of like when you see peeling wallpaper and you just wanna pull at the corner, but I couldn't quite reach it. So I decided to retrace my steps from the last few days. 

I found some notable demon activity in the area and I was checking it out. 

Then I heard his voice and it all came back. Brady. 

"Well well, look who's finally awake sleeping beauty." 

"Go to Hell." 

"Been there, done that. I've been waiting for you for hours Dean, and I do not like to be kept waiting." 

"Maybe you shoulda thought of that before hitting me with that bottle." 

"You remember that?" 

"It's starting to come back." 

Damnit. Why didn't I have an exorcism memorized? If Sammy were here this guy'd be toast by now. 

"Oh, well, lucky for me, Sammy isn't here." 

"Where is he?" 

"He and Jess are safely in bed, for now. I had orders to take care of you first." 

"Well, looks like you're doing a bang up job." 

Finally I could feel the ropes around my wrist start to fray. Still, I didn't have anything with me. No holy water, nothing. I've done more with less. 

Once my hands were free it was just a matter of hand to hand with this douche bag. I mean look at him, if he weren't possessed I could beat him with my pinky finger, but a juiced up demon was a different story entirely. I just had to buy enough time to get outside and get my bearings. I think he was shocked when I stood up. I got in a few good hits before he came to his senses enough to fling me across the room. I scrambled to my feet and toward the door. 

"Sorry, I'd stay and play but I got a brother who's counting on me!" 

I got to Sam's place just in time to see it fully engulfed in flames. Without thinking I ran in to find him, and it was like all those years ago all over again. Except this time I wasn't carrying him out, I was dragging him out. We left that night. We made no stops just got in the impala and started driving. I didn't know where I was going but I knew we weren't safe anymore. Sam wasn't safe anymore. And that's all that mattered. That was my only job. Keep Sammy safe.


	5. I was longing for home

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After months on the road together with no signs of John the boys start to worry.

It had been months since leaving Stanford, since dragging Sammy away from his only real shot at happiness ever. He was miserable, I was miserable, and to make things worse we hadn't heard from Dad. Not that we'd been expecting to, he hadn't taken any of our calls since we left, but also Jess' death and Mom's death were exactly the same. Besides, if he was chasing leads for the thing that killed mom all these years this would be it, wouldn't it?

Sam didn't talk much anymore. He was focused on the hunt, hell bent on revenge, just like Dad. We'd been hunting along the way, trying to chase whatever cases we thought Dad might have been on. Some people had seen him. Then the trail ran cold. 

I wanted to go back home. I didn't know what that meant exactly, if I wanted my home in California or if it was dad and random motels and abandoned houses I wanted to get back to. Or if it was some deep longing for the home I knew for my first four years of life. Or maybe it was the feeling of home that I always felt with Sam. Things weren't the same. We were both broken and lost and desperately seeking something we knew we couldn't have. Normal life just wasn't for us. Maybe it never was.


	6. I'm looking out for the two of us

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> For his whole life, Dean's only had one job. He won't quit now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know the timeline is way off in this fic, buuuuut I knew I wouldn't be able to commit for too long.

They took Sam in the middle of the night. I don't know why or where or who, but he was gone when I got up. I remembered something Brady had said to me, before he knocked me out, Sam was destined for something, some evil army or whatnot. I didn't think much of it, demons always talked out of their asses. But now I'm starting to have doubts. I was running out of time, and lore, when something -- a vision -- came to me. I saw Sam, I saw everything, and then I drove. 

I rolled into this abandoned town to find Sam and some other guy. But I could only watch in horror as he stabbed my little brother in the back and disappeared. 

I held Sam in my arms. 

"Hey, it's okay. We're gonna fix this right up." 

But he was losing so much blood and he was getting so weak. 

"It's okay Sammy." I whispered to him as I lay his body on a table inside one of the deserted buildings. 

I knew he couldn't hear me but I told Sammy again, "I'm looking out for the two of us," as I buried the little metal box at the intersection of two dirt roads.


End file.
